Living in Apartments with Boys

Stoppergate 2012

stressandbeauty — Sun, 07 Oct 2012 13:27:56 -0700

Dudemate C has a bad habit. Well, several bad habits, but we’ll focus on just one for the moment. One that just had me go to the Resident Services Office and put in an emergency maintenance request for no reason.

This, my friends, is a plastic sink stopper:

Fairly easy to use, for most folks. Push it down so it covers the drain and creates a seal, button side up for your removal ease. Kind of seems like a no brainer, right?

Not for Roommate C. Whenever Roommate C uses the stopper, he puts it in upside down. Most of the time, I (and Roommate S) just have to pry it back out with a knife. Annoying, but no real harm done - especially since he doesn’t do serious dishes or anything else that requires filling up the sink very often.

This afternoon, I walked into the kitchen to get a glass of water and found an inch of standing water in the sink. When turning on the garbage disposal produced a grinding noise and no reduction in the standing water, I tried sticking a knife down the drain to see if something was lodged there. The results were inconclusive and Roommate S told me the disposal was broken, so I went down to the RSO to request emergency maintenance on our (2 week old) garbage disposal. On my way back, Roommate S ran into me to say he fixed it. Because nothing was broken. The sink plug was pushed all the way into the top part of the garbage disposal, upside down.

I just….I honestly don’t understand. And now the RSO staff must think we’re fucking idiots, what with our “broken” disposals and inability to properly use sink stoppers.

Addendum

stressandbeauty — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 21:10:00 -0700

I’ve also taken the remotes for my tv and cable box into my room. Because I’d feel like a dick asking Dudemate S to pitch in for cable since I had to help him pay his rent last month (he did pay me back on time per our agreement, but still), but I also refuse to silently rage about and let him get away with watching my cable for free. I don’t even care if it’s passive aggressive - I don’t have to be paranoid anymore.

I think you need to update the blog with the rest of the story of how you confront these issues, since I'm all angry on your behalf but I don't get any closure. Tell of the comeuppance, please!

stressandbeauty — Mon, 24 Sep 2012 20:58:02 -0700

Oh ho. Tumblr is bad at telling me I have messages on my secondary blogs.

Hello! Unfortunately, because I hate confrontation and because these things often seem silly on their own when they happen, I often just vent them here and am done with it. Or I politely air them in a group sit down, things change for a while, then go back to normal. The boys are not very good with follow-through. Or seeing things with their eyes. Like messes. But there’s only a month left on our lease.

HOWEVER, I do have an amusing follow-up to the gin debacle. I put the 3/4 empty bottle on the counter with a note: “Whoever drank it needs to replace it. NOT COOL.” The next morning, the bottle had disappeared. About a day later, an unopened bottle of gin appeared on my side of the top of the fridge (because we’re classy). ….but that other bottle of gin remained disappeared. I guess I still came out a 1/4 bottle of gin ahead, but I find it very amusing.

(also, the steamer never got used as a strainer again. Notes ftw?)

This is Dudemate C’s ridiculous 12 cup coffee maker only...

stressandbeauty — Sat, 22 Sep 2012 19:21:10 -0700

This is Dudemate C’s ridiculous 12 cup coffee maker only he uses. I moved it while trying to clean up our current fruit fly invasion and found larvae under it. Out of curiosity, I opened it up. What you can’t see are all the floating fly carcasses.

Suspicions Confirmed (Again)!

stressandbeauty — Sat, 01 Sep 2012 14:00:05 -0700

Remember how I had convinced myself that the cable box must be re-setting to channel 2, because the guys wouldn’t be big enough dicks to pull out of paying for cable but watch it anyway? Guess whose roommate was watching football on her tv in the living room, even though he doesn’t pay any of the $100+ bill! THIS GAL.

I couldn’t be sure the boys drank my Jameson when I found...

stressandbeauty — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 03:21:16 -0700

I couldn’t be sure the boys drank my Jameson when I found it empty atop the fridge, but I know for damn sure this was full to the gent’s shoulder when I left for the weekend.

Our pantry is now apparently an extension of their bathroom...

stressandbeauty — Sat, 21 Jul 2012 15:15:59 -0700

Our pantry is now apparently an extension of their bathroom cabinets.

Things Apparently Not Worth Sharing, in Rough Chronological Order

stressandbeauty — Tue, 10 Jul 2012 16:30:55 -0700

That you are a smoker
That you plan to smoke pot at our apartment
That someone’s lost his job
That you were short on rent
That you’re having guests (who will earn us a noise violation warning)
That a new job has been found
That you sold the painting you were going to put up in the kitchen
That someone’s lost his job
That you’re selling the absurdly large tv in your room and reclaiming the living room one that I don’t have a replacement for (until the week you want to do so)
That you’ll be late with your share of utilities
That you’re exchanging one of the beds (a futon) in your room for the couch in the living room
That you’ve definitely decided not to chip in for cable (until you ask me to pay the full amount)
That you’ll be late with your share of the utilities again
That you’ll be late with your rent (again)
That you’ll be sleeping on the futon in the living room every night
That you’re using the cable you’re not paying for to watch The Fight, even though I can hear it in your room

Dudemate S has taken to sleeping in the living room again. When...

stressandbeauty — Mon, 09 Jul 2012 17:33:06 -0700

Dudemate S has taken to sleeping in the living room again. When we first moved in, he didn’t have a bed so I understood. Tip-toed around in the mornings getting ready, because I knew he didn’t have to get up for work until later than I did. Now, I don’t understand.

They switched out the living room couch for the futon that was Dudemate S’s bed in their room…with no explanation. Fine, whatever. I noticed that he slept on it instead of in their room a couple of times. A little weird but, still, fine. Now Dudemate S sleeps on the futon in the living room every night, which means he’s there when I am getting ready/making my breakfast. The futon is usually made up by the time I get home from work, but now it looks like even that little bit of common courtesy has been dispensed with.

….and still no explanation has been given.

Cleaning follow-up

stressandbeauty — Sun, 24 Jun 2012 12:56:00 -0700

The boys started cleaning up the clusterfuck that is our kitchen yesterday, which is great. A few notes from that:

Turns out that Dudemate C’s family had bi-monthly cleaners come through all growing up. EXPLAINS A LOT.
It’s no wonder there have been a lot of flies around our sink lately. I found a chunk of omelet under the dirty dishes and there is something legitimately putrid stuck to the sink.
Dudemate C filled up one side of the sink to soak the crusted-over burners in (then left them overnight…for an unknown reason). After Dudemate S took care of the burners, I went to unplug and drain the sink, only to find that Dudemate C had put the drain plug in upside down and there was nothing to grasp onto. It took Dudemate S and I five minutes and some spoons to pry it loose.

It’s difficult to come down hard when the dudemates are SO FUCKING AMIABLE every time we sit...

stressandbeauty — Sat, 23 Jun 2012 15:11:00 -0700

It’s difficult to come down hard when the dudemates are SO FUCKING AMIABLE every time we sit down for a big chat. They are very nice and apologetic, which makes it hard to be the angry bitch I feel like when they pull their bullshit. …but I guess there are worse problems to have. Maybe they’ll stop leaving chunks of sausage on the floor/couch now.

One can hope.

Day Two of Uncleaned, Boiled-Over Rice

stressandbeauty — Fri, 08 Jun 2012 13:05:12 -0700

Day Two of Uncleaned, Boiled-Over Rice

The morning my suspicions about that nasty smell wafting in...

stressandbeauty — Sat, 26 May 2012 16:30:00 -0700

The morning my suspicions about that nasty smell wafting in through our windows were confirmed. It was gone by the time I got back from work, but I’m glad we didn’t have any maintenance scheduled for that morning.

I rarely ever see the boys use the living room couch(es) or...

stressandbeauty — Fri, 25 May 2012 22:43:00 -0700

I rarely ever see the boys use the living room couch(es) or television, but I know they must. Because sometimes they leave little presents there for me, like uncooked bits of ramen on the coffee table or blobs of meat on the couch.

This was one of the first signs something was amiss. Like most...

stressandbeauty — Tue, 22 May 2012 20:46:45 -0700

This was one of the first signs something was amiss. Like most people I’ve lived with, I was storing platters and baking dishes inside our oven because of limited cabinet space. One day I went to pull out my (admittedly cheap, Target Dollar Aisle) brown platters that I bought for work potlucks, and they looked like this (with big cracks you can’t see). Turns out, Dudemate C had been accidentally turning on the oven every time he tried to use the timer.

He continued to do this (and preheat the oven without checking it first) for months after I made him aware of the issue. Eventually, I just moved everything out of the oven - but not before the platters were practically unusable.

…and then I didn’t realized that there was greasy crap on the counter where I set my...

stressandbeauty — Mon, 21 May 2012 20:39:10 -0700

…and then I didn’t realized that there was greasy crap on the counter where I set my bowl, so now my nice couch has a nice big greasy smear on it. Awesome.

Hearing is Not the Same as Listening...or Seeing

stressandbeauty — Mon, 21 May 2012 20:35:05 -0700

Our kitchen floors are always disgusting, and they get that way so quickly. Part of this is that the boys spray water all over the kitchen when they wash things and drip their protein shakes on the way back to their room.

Tonight, when Dudemate C was making his post-workout shake, I told him they needed to be more careful because there was water all over the floor earlier. He apologized profusely and said he’d be more careful. I walk back into the kitchen after he’s left - even more water on the floor than before.

After a full week of being neglected, unloved, and unwashed, the...

stressandbeauty — Tue, 08 May 2012 21:50:51 -0700

After a full week of being neglected, unloved, and unwashed, the poor little cutting board could take it no longer. “Please!” it cried out to the young men who had used it last. “Take pity on me!” Not even an hour later, a firm hand grasped the soiled piece of wood and moved it towards the sink. Bless! Its prayers were being answered!

…but, alas, it was not so. The cutting board was deposited amongst a large pile of dirty dishes in the sink without even the pretense of a rinse. There it sits still, watching with longing as other dishes take their journey to the dishwasher.

The Dudemates are pretty into House music, which I wasn’t...

stressandbeauty — Fri, 04 May 2012 18:08:00 -0700

The Dudemates are pretty into House music, which I wasn’t even aware was still A Thing. Regularly, I’ll be sitting in the living room watching television - and suddenly EVERYTHING IS TECHNO. So, last night, after 5-10 minutes of music being played so loudly it seemed I was in the same room with it and had to adjust the television volume to hear 30 Rock over, I thought I’d try to capture it on tape. This is a voice memo I recorded from our living room, which sounded louder on my iPod than it does here….

Anyway, turn up yo speakers and behold the musical tastes of my roommates!

stressandbeauty: I was going to post a follow-up to the other...

stressandbeauty — Thu, 03 May 2012 14:25:11 -0700

stressandbeauty:

I was going to post a follow-up to the other day’s vermouth adventure (in which I realize they also drank 2/3 of my gin & no one responds to my text about it), but methinks a spate of new followers deserves a special photo out of my archives. This was a slimy gloop of a mysterious cloudy substance that had dripped down and hardened on our dishwasher. Just as I hoped those were unused bikini bottoms, I prayed this was just butter…

D’oh! The problem with having multiple Tumblrs is that, when you “retrieve” an unsaved post, it automatically resets the “Post to” field to your default blog.